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It may be possible to actually diagnose a depressed patient before seeing the patient. Just hearing the resentment of a spouse, parent, or family member contacting me to book an adult child consultation is a sign that major depression is underway.They are well-meaning, caring people However, I am exhausted from trying to lift my loved ones out of their depression.
depression is a family problem
Depression doesn’t just affect patients. Chronic depression has ripple effects. Close family members and friends often feel worried, scared, helpless, frustrated, frustrated, and guilty about not being able to cheer up or cheer up their loved ones. , that is, it is only when they feel ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and give up the idea that they can save their loved ones that they realize they need outside help.
So was the case with Ruth. * By the time Ruth’s adult daughter called me, she and her husband had gone crazy. I could hear the desperation in her voice as she described Ruth’s chronic lethargy. She and her husband took care of their mother for two years as she became a virtual withdrawal at home. , were physically and mentally dependent on their children. They lived nearby, shopped, ate, cleaned, and looked after the household. Fearing that they would not be able to bear the burden any longer, they felt guilty about being overwhelmed and asked me for advice.
When I met her, the first words that came out of Ruth’s mouth were “I’m screwed”. I was confused by
“I don’t know what happened to me.”
It’s been ten years since Ruth’s husband died. She had adapted to being a widow and enjoyed spending time with her boyfriend, but two years ago she suddenly lost her appetite, couldn’t sleep, and became anxious about “everything”. There was — there was no apparent reason for her fear. She told me her children were so devoted to her and lived only because “if I did anything to myself, I would kill them.” She was thinking of canceling her appointment that her children made with me. “There’s nothing and no one to help me,” she whispered.
Typical Signs of Major Depression
Everyone gets off from time to time. But major depression is not “blues.” Ruth had typical symptoms of the condition. She has lost her appetite for food and life. She no longer wanted to go out and socialize. She had trouble falling asleep, lacked the energy or desire to get out of bed in the morning, was suffering from anxiety, and her relationships with her family and others were collapsing.She was helpless and hopeless. I felt it. she was contemplating suicide.
Like many families exhausted by caring but dysfunctional loved ones, Ruth’s children had lost their compassion and patience.
“My mother is much better than she used to be,” my daughter told me. Ruth was very lethargic, helpless, and dependent. Because there was no medical illness to explain Ruth’s sudden inability to care for herself, they wondered why she was simply “getting out of it.” I didn’t understand why I couldn’t. But people who are severely depressed usually behave like they’re paralyzed because of genetic, biological, hormonal, and/or situational factors. Despair is so heavy that it seems almost tangible. Their depression cannot be overcome by force alone.
It’s possible that Ruth wasn’t completely grieving for her late husband and could benefit from exploring unresolved emotions in psychotherapy. had. I explained to Ruth that her various symptoms were all part of one condition: major depression, a very treatable condition. For the first time at our meeting, they seemed to be working hard. She looked a little shocked, but she was relieved to know she had a clear explanation for what she was going through.
After confirming that there was no underlying medical condition causing Ruth’s depression, I presented her with several drug options and recommended an antidepressant with an energizing effect. , told me to start slowly at a very low dose and gradually increase to therapeutic levels to minimize the chance of side effects. explained, but she may see a slight lightening of the mood early on. I told her to call me if I had any questions or concerns for her and she would meet me in two weeks to see how she was doing.Once she was feeling better she could set her goals Start setting. Step by step, she went back to her grocery shopping, cleaned her house and got in touch with her old friends.
With Ruth’s permission, I invited her daughter into the office to share her diagnosis and treatment plan. Ruth and her daughter seemed visibly relieved, they had just been presented with a roadmap to recovery. They could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
*Name changed.
